Survivor for Harry Potter and Co
by Dancho
Summary: Harry potter and Co. on a survivor episode. i've never actually watched survivor so if i'm completly off sorry. PG13 for lauguage and suggested ideas Finished!
1. Intro

Survivor!  
  
AN: I'm sure this has been done before, but here goes!  
  
#1: Harry Potter  
  
::Is sitting in a chair in front of a black background. He looks a bit pale, but other than that, like his usually self::  
  
"My name is Harry Potter. I go to Hogwarts, a boarding school for wizards in England and I am in my 4th year. I am best friends with Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, who are both in my year. I live with my aunt, uncle, and cousin, who all go out of their way to make my life a living hell. My really parents were killed when I was only one year old."  
  
#2: Ron Weasley  
  
::Is standing on the edge of a cliff, overlooking the sea. His hair is blowing everywhere and he keeps brushing it aside::  
  
"My real name is Ronald Weasley. I live in a broken down house, called the Burrow, with my parents and 3 brothers and one sister. I have two other brother, Bill and Charlie, but they don't live with us. My best friends are Harry Potter and Hermione Granger."  
  
#3: Hermione Granger  
  
::Is sitting on a bench that is part of a huge stadium. The section she is sitting in is quite high up (Quidditch area) and she keeps looking nervously over the edge::  
  
"My name is Hermione Granger and I live in England. My two parents are dentists and are try to ignore my magic powers. This doesn't bother me except that they wont let me have my own owl. My two best friends are Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. I don't think Harry's very bright (AN: Don't kill me yet Potter fans!) but he's really brave. Ronald Weasley lacks the common sense of an ant but he's a loyal friend and his families really nice."  
  
#4: Draco Malofy  
  
::Draco is standing in long hallway of a mansion. He seems quite at home, perhaps because it is his home::  
  
"My name is Draco Malafoy, son of Lucious Malafoy. I am positive I'll win this show because I am the only person from a strong Wizarding family that has any common sense. I also go to Hogwarts with my two friends/bodyguards. I tried to befriend Potter in the beginning of our first year but he was quite rude and I began to avoid him." ::Mumbles something about Potter being a stuck up bastard::  
  
#5: Albus Dumbledore  
  
::is sitting in a large leather chair. The room is large and one can only assume it is his office::  
  
::Dumbledore looks at the camara and then at the ceiling he appears to be deep in thought. The camera watches him for 10 minutes, throughout which he says nothing::  
  
#6 and 7: Fred and George Weasley  
  
::The two are polishing trophies in a large hall. They look quickly over their shoulder every few minutes as if they are expecting a assassin to run in the room at any moment::  
  
George: "Were not really supposed to be talking to you."  
  
Fred: "Were supposed to be in detention."  
  
George: "Honestly, you thing Filch could take a joke!"  
  
Fred: "We weren't really going to throw Ms. Norris out a window!"  
  
George: "Well, perhaps we were but that's another matter."  
  
Fred: You promised you weren't going to tell my evil intentions! ::splashes George with polish. George splashes back. Polish war reigns. Camera gets splashed and fizzes out::  
  
#8: Rubeus Hagrid  
  
:: Rubeus is feeding a small wolf a raw leg of lamb. He looks at the wolf as if it were a baby or small puppy instead of a wolf::  
  
"My name is Rubeus Hagrid. I'm keeper of the keys and grounds of Hogwarts and I also teach 'Care of Magical Creatures'. I enjoy my job and I like the students though if some of them fell off a cliff, I can't say I'd mind much. I was sent to Az..Az..Azka.."  
  
::Voice off camera:: "Azkaban?"  
  
"That's right, there a bit ago. But I was really framed. Anyway, I enjoy taking care of animals. My present charge is Waldo over here. Isn't he cute?" ::Hagrid proceeds to pet the wolf. The camera zooms in and the Wolf bites the lens off. You hear a lot of screaming and carrying on some of which includes 'Bad Boy!' 'I'll sue!' 'AHHHHHHHHHH, the beast tried to kill me!' and 'I quit!'.:: 


	2. Part I

AN: I don't own Harry Potter or Survivor. Forgive me! I forgot to add this in w/ my first chapter. *sob *  
  
Part I  
  
::The group arrive in a van. They all get out and stretch their legs. The area is a mountainous region with many cliffs, trees, waterfalls and loose stones.::  
  
::The camera records the players taking their few possessions out of the van's trunk::  
  
::Harry reaches in and pulls out a small leather photo album. Malafoy laughs.::  
  
"What no extra clothes?" Malafoy asks.  
  
"these are the only clothes I posses." Harry says in a mournful voice. Malafoy falls to the ground laughing.  
  
::Ron pulls out a icky maroon sweater and a long wand. Fred and George try, and fail, to hold back their laughter. He looks sheepishly at the camera::  
  
"My mom can never remember that I hate the color maroon."  
  
::Hermione uses her wand to levitate out a heavy book. She turns to the camera and shrugs.::  
  
"Light reading."  
  
::Ron hears this and chokes on the air he is breathing.::  
  
::Draco pulls out a silver bell::  
  
Off camera voice: what's with the bell?  
  
"I need to call my servants with out straining my voice." Draco explains. ::Fred and George have to hold each other up as they burst out laughing.  
  
Off camera voice: didn't some one tell you? You can't bring servants along! ::Draco goes off to pout::  
  
::Dumbledore comes up and pulls out a pair of woolly socks. Everyone gives him an odd look::  
  
::Fred and George take out one large bag of firecrackers each. They look around evilly.::  
  
::Hagrid turns his back to the camera and pulls something out of the trunk. He quickly hurrys off with it.::  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
::The group is sitting around a large fire talking, well, all except Dumbledore. Soon a man walks into the light.::  
  
"Hello, I am you messanger. Your host cannot be here, so she sent me. I shall be informing you when you must do a task and when you must vote a person off the…er…mountian. I hope you have had a good chat with your team- mates because it is now time to vote the first person off the show!"  
  
::There is a small murmer::  
  
"Who wants to go first?" The man askes.  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
::Harry steps up to the camera::  
  
"I vote off Draco. G-D, he's such a prick!"  
  
::Ron steps up::  
  
"I vote off George. I know he's the one who set that firecracker off right next to me."  
  
::Hermione steps up::  
  
"I vote off Draco. I know he was checking me out!"  
  
::Draco steps up.::  
  
"I vote off Harry. He voted against me!"  
  
::Fred comes up.::  
  
"I vote off Ron. He just can't take a joke!"  
  
::George looks over his shoulder.::  
  
"I vote off Fred. He framed me for that firecracker trick!"  
  
::Albus comes up and writes a name down.::  
  
::Hagrid comes up and looks over his shoulder.::  
  
"I vote off Draco. To bad I can't push him off a cliff. He was close, to close, to finding out…..er….nevermind."  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
::The man steps up and talks to the group.::  
  
"By a majority vote, Draco Malafoy has been vote off the show."  
  
::There is a lot of clapping. Draco steps up::  
  
"Screw the lot of you!! I'm going home to my house and money and servants."  
  
::Draco runs off crying. Ron snickers and Albus Dumbledore looks at the sky.:: 


	3. Part II

AN: Disclaimer: I own nothing! Not Survivor, not Harry Potter, not even 7- 11!  
  
Part II  
  
::Ron, Harry and Hermione are kneeling under a stone ledge trying to keep the rain out. Hagrid is sitting under a tree with his back to them and Dumbledore has conjured a waterproof shield around himself and has gone to sleep. Fred and George are nowhere to be seen.::  
  
"I don't like that old guy." Ron confessed.  
  
"Dumbledore?" Hermione asked. "I know what you mean. He doesn't say a lot. Makes you wonder what he's thinking."  
  
::The man walks into the camp holding a large umbrella over his head.::  
  
"Hello. Where are Fred and George? Oh nevermind, if anyone see's them inform them of your first task. You first task is to get dinner…without your wands! In fact from now on your wands are off limits." (AN: WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)  
  
::Authors spokesperson leaves.::  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
::Albus Dumbledore wanders into camp with a head of letuce. He is soon followed by Ron and Hermione who are each carrying a rabbit. Harry comes back, half an hour later, with another rabbit. Another hour passes. Hermione is skinning the rabbits when Hagrid comes in dragging a live…….DRAGON!::  
  
"HAGRID!" Harry yells. Hermione runs for cover and Ron wets himself.  
  
"Oh come on! He's just a baby!" Hagrid protests. The 'baby' dragon decides its had enough of all this and lets out a huge breath of flames, incinerating the whole camp.  
  
::Authors spoke person pops up out of nowhere.::  
  
"Anyone you want to vote off?"  
  
::All fingures point to Hagrid. Hagrid points to the dragon.::  
  
::Hagrid is dragged from the camp by two burly security cops, while Dumbledore calmly eats his letuce. Fred and George come out of the woods.::  
  
"We heard about the finding our own food thing, so we hiked to the nearest 7-11. Since we'd never get anything to eat by scavenging, we just bought the store. Eat up!"  
  
"Oh Fred! Oh George! How can we ever repay you?" Ron exclamines kissing Fred's feet.  
  
"Well, if you insist! That'll be $100.00." 


	4. Part III

AN: I don't own a thing!  
  
Part III  
  
::A helicopter view of a spacious mountain.::  
  
Announcers voice: As week three begins the team must pass a test to prove their value to the rest of the team.  
  
::Ron is seated on a large stone. In the background you can see the others gathering wood and such to build a shelter.::  
  
"I dunno. I don't think Fred or George will last much longer. I was looking over Hermione's book yesterday and she had marker a few curses that would lead to a slow and painful death."  
  
::Ditto picture only Ron has been replaced with Hermione.::  
  
"I don't know if I can hold out much longer. If Ron keeps up his annoying, lets-snoop-through-Hermione's- stuff attitude, I might just have to kill him."  
  
::Harry. Same background.::  
  
"I think Hermione's turning Psychopathic. I'm gonna start watching my back."  
  
::Spokesman walks into camp.::  
  
"For today's challenge, you all must cross a river without getting wet. Good luck!"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
::Ron is trying to knock down a tree to create a bridge.::  
  
::Harry is roping together a load of branches to make a raft.::  
  
::Hermione has found a vine and is swinging across the river.::  
  
::Dumbledore has found a bunch of rocks and using them as stepping stones, he walks over the water.::  
  
::Fred and George rolled up their robes and wade across the river::  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
::Spokesperson is sitting at the camp fire eating a hamburger.::  
  
"Time to vote someone off the show!" He says in a WAY to perky voice.  
  
::Ron looks over his shoulder.::  
  
"Hermione, You're my best friend, but I can't have you murdering my brothers…even if they do deserve it."  
  
::Harry writes down a name and walks back to his seat.::  
  
::Dumbledore does the same::  
  
::Fred walks up and writes down a name.::  
  
"Hermione has to go! She's such a goodie two shoes"  
  
::George walks up and scribbles a name onto the paper and sits down.::  
  
::Hermione comes up::  
  
"Their all hitting on me! Just the other night….nevermind. I've got to get out! Way to many HORNY guys!!::  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
::Spokesperson looks up surprised.::  
  
"A unanimous vote! Hermione is off the show."  
  
::Hermione screams for joy and runs down the trail to civilization. The team watches a bit mournfully.:: 


	5. Part IV

AN: Own nothing!!  
  
Part IV  
  
::Ron is sitting by a lake::  
  
"I kinda miss Hermione. Even if the night before she left….nevermind."  
  
::Albus Dumbledore is sitting outside his hut. He looks up at the camera then looks back down. He says nothing.::  
  
::Fred is sitting on the mountain.::  
  
"I hate to say it but I'm beginning to think about voting George off. He is way to much like me."  
  
::Albus Dumbledore is sitting next to a river. He says nothing.::  
  
::George is sitting under a tree.::  
  
"Fred is beginning to bother me. It's one thing to blow up my hut, but it's another thing to laugh about it!"  
  
::Albus Dumbledore is standing. He pokes at the dirt with his toe. He says nothing.::  
  
::Harry is sitting in a tree.::  
  
"Sorry about this. The lack of flying is making my altitude sick. I need to be high up. Anyway, I'm going to vote against Fred. I hate both the twins, but I can't tell them apart so I'll vote against Fred this time and George next.::  
  
::Albus Dumbledore is sitting beside a boulder. He looks up at the camera and smiles. He says nothing.:: 


	6. Part V

AN: Okay if this one is kinda random, don't blame me! It's almost midnight and I can't sleep. I'm actually listening to all these CD's and I'm one this MAJOR sugar rush!! Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
Part V  
  
::It's the camp site and the sun is just peaking over the horizon.::  
  
::Spokesperson walks up munching on an apple. He goes up to the first hut and sticks his head inside.::  
  
"ahem….WAKE UP!!!!" The Spokesperson shouted. He then went to the next hut and did the same. Soon the team was assembled by the campfire.  
  
"Alright you lot! A two-mile hike today! Come on!"  
  
"What do you say we push him off the nearest cliff?" George whispered to Fred. Fred nodded.  
  
"Ah Ah Ah! Push me at all and no food for any of you." The spokesperson smiled. The team glared at him.  
  
"I don't care!" Fred screamed jumping the spokesperson.  
  
"NO!" Ron yelled.  
  
"HIYA!" George yelled rushing the spokesman.  
  
::Spokesperson runs off calling for his mommy. Fred and George laugh. The others glare at them.::  
  
"There goes lunch!" Ron muttered.  
  
"Does the extra sleep help?" Fred asked. No answer.  
  
Big Scary Voice from Sky: HOW DARE YOU?!  
  
"Errr?" George mumbled.  
  
BSVS: WELL? I can't believe you two! Okay, that's it! I'm using my supreme power and voting you tow off. WAHAHAHAHAHA ::Sky darkens and lighting flashes and thunder rolls:: (AN: Big Scary Voice from Sky is me! Hehehehe. Please don't kill me Fred and George Fans.)  
  
"Umm, we'll be leaving them?" George asked.  
  
(AN: Grrrr, my CD player just ran out of batteries!)  
  
BSVS: YES! Go, before I get really mad! ::Softer:: Now where am I gonna find a new spokesperson? 


	7. Part VI (AN: This chapter is for Martha)

AN: I own nothing! Okay for the update: Hagrid, Fred, George, Hermione and Draco have been voted off the show.  
  
Part VI  
  
::Ron is gathering sticks.::  
  
"I hate to admit it but I don't think I can hold out much longer! I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere with only Harry and an old guy who hasn't said A SINGLE THING since we arrived. I just wanna go home!"  
  
::Breaks down crying. Martha runs up and hugs Ron.::  
  
BSVS: MARTHA!! HOW DID YOU GET ON THE SET?!?!  
  
::Albus Dumbledore looks at the camera and smiles::  
  
::Harry is skinning a rabbit::  
  
"I can't stand it! I mean honestly! Hermione was right, Ron doesn't have the common sense of an Ant! Make that a dead Ant!"  
  
::Harry goes on a Ron-is-soooo-stupid craz!::  
  
::Albus Dumbledore looks at the camera and smiles:: 


	8. Part VII

AN: Okay, I just went to see LOTRs again! That's 6 times folks! GO ME! Anyway, I needed a new spokes person.  
  
PART VII  
  
::Ron, Harry and Dumbledore are sitting around a campfire. Suddenly a huge Orc towers behind them.::  
  
"Err, hello?" Ron asks. The Orc roars. Ron hides behind Harry. Dumbledore continue to calmly eat his bit of rabbit.  
  
"Forced march!" The Orc yells drawing its sword. The team jumps up and marches. "I am now the authors spokesman. It seems the author wanted a stronger spokesperson to control you lot."  
  
"Just wait till I get my hands on Fred and George!" Ron muttered.  
  
"Ditto."  
  
"Across the swamp!" The Orc shouts.  
  
::Ron and Harry stare at the muddy swamp.::  
  
"If I get muddy, perhaps mum won't make me wear my Maroon sweater!"  
  
::Ron shrugs and jumps in. Harry continues to stare at the mud.::  
  
"Not a chance!" Harry shudders.  
  
BSVS: That's it! Harry go through the mud or no dinner!  
  
::Harry looks at the mud::  
  
"No way!"  
  
BSVS: Okay no dinner. Besides now's as good a time as any. Vote!  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
::Ron goes up to camera::  
  
"I vote off Harry. He way be famous, but around here Dinner is everything!"  
  
::Harry goes up::  
  
"I vote off that slave-driver Orc! He's smelly and Mean!::  
  
::Alubus Dumbledore goes up and votes::  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
::Orc looks at papers::  
  
"Harry is voted off."  
  
"WHAT?!" Harry yells.  
  
::A small Hobbit walks onto the set  
  
"Hey! Bob! Were shooting your scene next!"  
  
"Right." The Orc nods. "should I strip down to my loincloth now?"  
  
"Naw, were shooting that scene tomorrow."  
  
"Okay, tell Peter I'll be there in a minute."  
  
"You go it." ::Small hobbit disappears.  
  
BSVS: Well if you HAVE to go would you mind taking harry with you?  
  
::Orc slings Harry over his shoulder and disappears.::  
  
BSVS: NOW where am I going to find another enforcer?  
  
(AN: For those of you who care vote on who you think should win! Dumbledore? Or Ron?) 


	9. Part VIII

(AN: Sorry it's been a while, but here it is! The final chapter of my survivor story! By the way, I appreciate all the reviews. And yes! I do realize I can't spell!)  
  
::Ron is sitting by the lake.::  
  
"I sort of hope I win the prize money. I mean, if I had a million dollars…"  
  
::Ron grows quite and a dreamy look crosses his face::  
  
"Chocolate…space…money…chocolate…no more maroon sweaters. Er…sorry about that."  
  
::Albus Dumbledore looks at the camera and waves:: (AN: Yea…okay, then.)  
  
* * *  
  
::Original spokesperson comes on set. Looks cautiously over his shoulder.::  
  
"There not here…are they?"  
  
"Are who here?" Ron asks, popping up behind FOSP (Freaked Out Spokes Person).  
  
"Those devils!"  
  
"Fred and George?" Ron asks. FOSP nods. "Nope."  
  
BSVS: Of Course not!! How could they be when I kicked them off?!  
  
::FOSP ALMOST dies of shock.::  
  
BSVS: Okay. That was NOT the desired effect.  
  
::Ron, Dumbledore, and NSFOSP (Not So Freaked Out Spokes Person) are transported to a rushing river with a thin cord connecting both sides.:: (AN: Because I can!)  
  
::NSFOSP picks himself up and pulls large clipboard out of back pocket. Licks pen.::  
  
"Alright! Finale test! You must cross this gorge with…" NSFOSP looks over papers and reads off list "Sharp rocks, hungry crocodiles, a few savage blood-thirsty warriors, poisonous snakes, spiders, One or two Voldemort impersonators and the odd ax-murder at the bottom. Well, good luck. Oh by the way. No magic."  
  
::Ron passes out.::  
  
::Dumbledore steps onto cord and takes another step. And another, another and finally reaches the other side. Ron picks himself up and stumbles to the cord. He takes a step on and tips over. Martha (remember her from Part VI??) swings in on third vine from the left and runs off with Ron over her shoulder.::  
  
::NSFOSP shakes his head and marks something on the clipboard.::  
  
"Bad marks for getting rescued." NSFOSP frowns, then smiles and jumps across the gorge in a single bound (AN: I LOVE superman!!).  
  
"Congradulations Albus Dumbledore! You won ONE MILLION DOLLARS!"  
  
::Camera crew and reporters drive up in a very Monty Python fashion. (AN: I love "The Bishop!" ever seen it? You should! It's funny! Okay then!). They all pile out and shove cameras and microphones in Dumbledores face.::  
  
"Mr. Dumbledore! What do you plan to do with this money?" Shouts random reaporters (Okay, so they don't all shout the same thing but they all say basically the same thing?)  
  
"Sock."  
  
"Would you care to elaberate, sir?" Random newsreporter asks.  
  
"I will buy sock. One can never have enough socks."  
  
::Dumbledore walks away.::  
  
(AN! Did you like that? Huh, huh, huh? REVIEW!!) 


End file.
